Standing in the Tragic Gap
In the philosophy of soul work, suffering and meaning are intertwined.
What does that mean?
Well, that some deeper part of us is always striving for a deeper encounter with life… It is hungry for moments of profound feeling in which we make true contact with what it means to be human. Often those moments of contact are fraught with deep pain. And though we would not wish them upon ourselves or others, it can be true that what marks us makes us, hence the common adage that for most people, their suffering is their greatest teacher.
Of course this isn’t always true - some people’s suffering does break them. It seems that suffering can only become a teacher if we are able to find meaning in it, and that this is more possible if we take the perspective that life is more than just what happens to us (the plot); that there is another dimension to our story that is unraveling through the circumstances we find ourselves in (character development)...
Usually, it takes the right kind of trouble to move the little self out of the way so that the deeper self can bring its resources forward. Something inside the soul knows the true aim and purpose of our lives; yet we must become lost in order to find it.
- Michael Meade
John O’Donohue said that biography and identity are not the same thing; that ‘biography unfolds identity’... that our biography is the story of our identity meeting the world. I like this. For me it speaks to the mystery of our true identity and the fact that it takes what Michael Meade calls ‘the right kind of trouble’ to awaken it.
At the level of soul, we are each on a hero’s/ heroine’s journey to discover our truth, free ourselves of delusion; open to love and cultivate a life full of joy and beauty. There is a mythic dimension to every life in that each person is striving to find the treasure inside them and will need to overcome demons to retrieve it.
It takes great courage to become who you truly are in this world that is so full of noise and distraction, manipulation and extraction… In this sense, your very subjectivity is a battleground, for if you do not cultivate your own deeply rooted sense of self, your identity will be colonised by outside forces.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest achievement.” - Ralph Emerson
To become who you truly are is to live soulfully. And to lead your life from a place of authenticity and humility; to lead by example, ie. by being an example of a wounded, aching, striving, creating, magic-making human - is to lead soulfully.
We do not need more leaders full of false certainties, dogmatic ideologies and clever rhetoric. We need leaders who have the courage to be with uncertainty, entertain new possibilities, and admit their fallibility. No-one can lead with integrity if they’re not willing to lean into their vulnerability and everything it contains (doubt, pain and confusion). It’s not fun to be with this stuff, but it’s necessary…
Author and educator Parker J Palmer spoke of that the ability to stand in the ‘tragic gap’ (between cynicism and idealism) as one of the most important leadership qualities of our time. I think he’s pointing towards something really important here - the fact that it requires sensitivity, depth of feeling and subtly of understanding to walk the tightrope between cynicism and idealism - not falling down into despair for flying off into fantasy - but really looking at the world head on and asking what can be done to make it a more just and beautiful place?
There are as many answers to this question as there are hearts to receive it, and it is my mission to help others awaken to their genius and their capacity for soulful leadership.
Join me on my upcoming Soulful Leadership course if you’d like to explore:
The current leadership paradigm & the ways you have distorted your sense of power to fit into it
Your journey of initiation in life & what it reveals about your unique gifts & insights
The relationship between suffering & meaning
The qualities of soulful leadership - which ones come most & least naturally to you and how this is related to your gifts & wounds
Your compensation strategies & the shadow leadership qualities you may fall into
Your values & leadership mission - the contribution only you can make to the world.
We’ll be meeting online on Monday evenings from 26 Sept - 31 October. Feel free to email me with any questions.
Bonny Tydeman is a Soulful Leadership Coach and facilitator who is trained in psychosynthesis. Find out more about her practise here.
